THE ORIGINS OF WE ARE DARK

Hello, I’m James, the dark side of We Are Dark. Why am I the dark side? Well, I’ll tell you my story…

I grew up in a small town 20 minutes from Bristol, England, known for its abundance of drug rehabilitation centers and an old seaside vacation town.

Growing up I always knew I was different to others, I used to want to play kiss chase with the boys, not the girls, And I was always just that little more feminine than the others, though I wasn’t sure what this meant at the time... It caused me a lot of introspective thoughts and I began to put myself down a lot – ‘if I was like them, I’d be more accepted…’

Growing up into high school was even more daunting and where bullying really began, my hair was too perfect (I had the 90’s curtains haircut like Nick and Aaron Carter…) Or I was a target because I didn’t like sports, or ‘boy things.’ It got so bad that people would wait for me at the gates to beat me up, for no reason other than trying to be myself. Of course, you could tell parents and teachers, but nobody could REALLY do anything, and this was all before I was even aware I was gay.

Coming to terms with being gay was difficult, as it is for everybody, because we go through the self-questioning and when we tell people we’re faced with ‘it’s just a phase,’ or ‘he’ll grow out of it.’

All of this caused me a lot of self-questioning, and honestly, still does today. I started working at a gay club in Bristol, where, for a year or 2, I felt accepted and myself. Though I never drank alcohol or did drugs, which were all very prevalent within the gay communities, eventually leading me away from this environment, back to introspection.

I decided to travel, to find my community - and boy did I
travel. I visited over 20 countries, backpacking on as little as $4 a day, searching for a place I belong, running from my past, each new area brought new people, where I felt relaxed and accepted, until it became more and more apparent that I just didn’t belong in the straight world…

The concept of ‘Dark’ came about when I was living on a tiny island south of Cambodia, reflecting on how I felt. Dark within the world, my negative self-talk and thoughts about never finding a place I belong, dreaming of a place where I finally felt accepted and true to who I am. With that little dream, I booked a ticket to the USA, on a whim. Ideas of ‘if I could photograph dark in iconic spots, maybe it would succeed.’ We all know it isn’t that simple…

When I got to Los Angeles, I met Daniel and ended up staying there and getting to know him. Our bond grew, I stayed for 6 months, and we got married, back in 2019. We discussed ‘Dark’ and what it meant to me. I thought about how it represented my darkness and depression of feeling isolated in the world. We turned it into We Are Dark as we brainstormed the brand, bringing together the concept of depression and community, however, when we traveled in
the Philippines it finally clicked that the source of my dark past was through being gay, and constantly struggling to know if I am accepted or not. That was when we realized that it was about bringing a community together, for people who have felt like myself, isolated and pinned into one stereotype.

I developed a passion for photography in which I can now begin to express myself through my art and I am thrilled to be able to use as the designs on the shirts. To convey the emotions, I feel at the time, and when reflecting on images, the ever-changing state of mind.

I still have a lot of darkness within, struggling to find my way in the world, and maintain an optimistic output, which is resulting in why I am the dark side.

Thank you for reading my story and getting to know a little about me, and if you resonate with fragments of it, know that you too, are not alone.

Hello. I'm Daniel, the light side of We Are Dark. Why am I the light side? Well, here's my story...

I was born into a very Christian family. My parents divorced when I was around 2 or 3, and during first grade I went to live with my dad. Throughout my entire childhood and adolescence, he was my pastor. So… I was a pastor’s kid. It was difficult for me, living in such a strict environment, I wanted to listen to pop music, but I wasn’t allowed to… because it was “of the Devil.” Lots of things were. School wasn’t any easier for me either, I was bullied a lot and made fun of. 

I realized I was gay after the summer of 7th grade. I prayed and prayed to God to make me straight so I could be “normal,” and fit in, but he never did. I began to accept my fate. I always had a positive outlook on life, despite the struggles I went through. No matter what, I always knew that things would turn out better for me. And I’ve always been right. Things have continued to get better for me. Though struggles would continue to come my way, I would push through them, always knowing that they would get better.

I finally made the move to California, and this is where my life really began. I found West Hollywood, my tribe. I was finally accepted for being me. I wasn’t afraid to walk down the street holding hands with another man. I wasn’t afraid to jump around and skip down the sidewalk. I wasn’t afraid to wear makeup and throw on high heels. I felt like the judgement was gone, it was freeing and I felt like I could finally live life the way I was meant to live it all along.

I met James in 2019. We hit it off and became best friends instantly. Over time that friendship grew quickly, and we married at the end of the year. He told me about his depression, and the darkness he had always felt within… and me being me, I wanted to help him. I would always tell him, “you just have to tell your mind that you want to find a way to be happy, and it will begin to figure it out." You don’t have to know how to do it, only that you want to do it, and it will figure out the rest. It would take years, but slowly but surely, he began to find his way.

We moved out of California in the middle of 2020. It was too expensive for us, and James wanted to see other parts of the country. We eventually landed in Hawaii, where we would live for 2 years. That’s when I figured out what depression felt like. It’s not fun. This dark cloud would linger over me every day, and there was no escaping it. All emotion was gone. I was empty inside. Moving away from all of my friends and the lifestyle I had lived for so many years, it felt like my life ended. All I could do to get through the day was live in my memories. We launched We Are Dark at the end of 2020, a brand based on depression and loneliness. Something I felt connected to for the first time. We both worked coffee shop jobs and finally after a year on the island, we worked hard enough to open a store for our brand.

A year later, we decided Hawaii wasn’t for us. I missed my friends and family a lot, and it was so expensive to travel to and from the island that I rarely got to see them. We decided to close our physical store and move to Las Vegas, which was at least close to LA, but much more affordable. I could feel that something still wasn’t right with our brand, though. It still seemed like something was missing. I didn’t feel completely connected to it. It wasn’t truly me. We decided to take a trip to The Philippines in early 2024, and this is where James had the realization that his depression stems from the struggle of being gay living in a straight world. And that’s when it clicked. Our brand should reflect how we truly feel inside. It should reflect us. Two gay men, living in a straight world. The darkness we feel comes from the years of bullying and non-acceptance. The hatred and disgust that has been thrown at us our entire lives for something we don’t even have control over.

That changes today. No longer do we have to live in fear. We are our own community. And if I want to venture out of my small little village and into the straight world, I can find peace in knowing that if I wear a shirt I feel comfortable in, no one will know it's a queer brand because they don’t know our language. So I can still be myself as much as possible in those places, but I don’t have to be afraid.

I keep looking towards the future, seeing the wonderful change our brand is going to make. To help inspire people who maybe grew up in a small town in the midwest like me to not live in fear and make something of themselves. That is why I’m the light side, because I know that things will always get better. Every struggle, every mountain, every climb. There is a beautiful view waiting.

I wrote and published my first book about my story. That was much-needed therapy. It even inspired me to create an entire trilogy, which I'm very excited about and am currently writing. If you want to purchase my first book it's available here.

Never give up.

Thank you for reading my story.